To become a better coach by creating a space where players can express their true selves through meaningful thoughts, feelings, and actions.
When young people express their true selves they become leaders who make a valuable contribution to their team and to society.
“Your athletes are a reflection of what you teach and what you allow in the changeroom and on the ice. Good or bad, right or wrong, they will emulate your behavior”
A strong foundation starts with you, the coach. Make sure to include building blocks that meet the needs and wants of the children.
Top 5 qualities children want in their coach:
Respect and encouragement
A positive role model
Clear, consistent communication
Knowledge of the sport
A good listener
Ask yourself:
Why do I coach
What are my goals and values
What is my coaching philosophy
What is my definition of success
Be clear and specific about why you coach. Your purpose lets parents and athletes know what they can expect from you.
Examples of Core Values?
Integrity: Know & do what is right
Respect: Treat others the way you want to be treated
Authenticity: Be true to yourself. Follow your heart; express your true self
Sportsmanship: Bring your best to all competition
What is the most important lesson that day?
What needs to be reviewed?
What needs to be improved?
Plan ahead. Don’t just show up and hope to be inspired. Have 3-5 drills (10-15 mins each – including drinks & transition).
Practice your game-day routines, and review your team philosophy.
Teach your athletes what to do as soon as they enter the rink. Never assume they know what to do. Create routines that are inclusive and help build a strong team culture.
Greet each player individually
Peptalk: Review team philosophy
Announce lineups
Team Cheer
On-ice warm up
Between periods
After scoring; being scored on
Final buzzer celebrations
Avoid lectures or speeches
Ask 2 questions:
Did you have fun?
Did you do your best?
Make 2 points:
1 thing they did well
1 thing they can improve on
Practice your routines until they become habits. It takes a while for a child to go from being a kid to being a focused athlete. Routines ensure every child is on the same page and knows what to expect.
“Setting expectations at the beginning of the season ensures everyone understands their roles and how they can contribute to make the team successful”
“Working with” parents instead of “dealing with” them is much more effective.
Introduce yourself; tell them why you coach.
Also, find out what they expect from you and from their child. Ensure they know what you expect from them by setting boundaries that are suitable and can be consistently enforced.
Let them know why you coach; and why you chose them to be a part of the team. Be clear about what they can expect from you, and what you expect from them.
Ensure they know the consequences of their every action (both good and bad). Never assume that they know what you're thinking. And never assume that you know what they're thinking.
Follow this template when sending an introduction email to the parents.
Subject: Be specific in your email title, and always include the team name in the title so it is easily searchable. Do not use the same email title every time.
A little about me… Talk about things like where you are from; whether you played sports; and why you are coaching, etc.
“My personal phone number”: Text messaging is the best way to communicate with parents these days.
Games and Practices: How early do you want them to be ready? What do you need them to bring? Make it easy for them and include a link to the team calendar.
Expectations & Boundaries: attach a PDF copy of your boundaries & expectations. Or send it separately and ask them to acknowledge it with a reply.
Tip: If you don’t get a response be sure to call within a day or two to introduce yourself.
Decide on a philosophy that everyone understands and can live up to. Make it clear that the process is ongoing; a never-ending journey of continual development of a highly functional group, clan, team, tribe, family. All worthwhile things take time.
For example:
Goal – What do you want to do?
Purpose – Why do you want to do it?
Mission – What will you do to achieve it?
Promises – How will you do it?
Use this as a team building exercise for older age groups. Let them help in creating a team philosophy.
Examples of Promises:
Never give up, never, regardless of the score or the opponent
Be the hardest worker I can be
Be at least 1% better than the day before
Be a positive influence on my team and coaching staff
Respond in a positive manner immediately after a mistake
Compete with and challenge my teammates in practice because I love them
Respect my opponent, the fans, the officials and the game
Never let an opponent defeat my spirit, identity, or culture
Never be afraid of errors, mistakes, losing. They’re our greatest teachers
Find out what parents expect from their child and from you. Send them the following questionnaire.
About your Athlete
List 1-2 things your athlete already does well as a player?
List 1-2 things you would like to see your child improve upon?
What do you want your child’s experience to be like this season?
About you
What do you want your experience to be like as a parent?
What can you do to help create that experience for, or with other parents?
What can the coaches do to help facilitate that experience?
Learn about your players with a simple questionnaire.
What are you good at outside of hockey?
What do you like about hockey?
List 1-2 things you’re good at in hockey
List 1-2 things you would like to improve
Knowing their strengths and weaknesses allows you to customize your coaching to each player.
Let parents know what you expect from them.
Things that I WILL discuss with a parent:
Your child’s performance
Things to work on at home
A personal improvement plan for the child
Issues that may be affecting your child’s performance, which may include behavior from other team members but nothing sport specific (i.e., bullying)
Game-related concerns or questions (Please allow a 24hr grace period after a game before)
Things that I WILL NOT discuss with a parent:
Anything related to the performance of another child
Tactics
Playing time
Practice planning and session topics
Substitutions, playing styles
Things to consider:
Nothing is personal
Be their biggest fan. Encourage, challenge, love. Find a positive both in victory and in defeat. What you say and do will impact their progress.
Focus on the journey, not the destination. Mini goals, small victories, and weekly challenges are more fun and provide visible progress.
Promote effort over skill. A skilled athlete who doesn’t make an effort will develop slower than those who put in their best effort on a regular basis.
You might have had your chance. Let them have theirs. Let them develop through their own achievements and not what you may or may not have achieved.
Contact a coach if your child is going to be late or absent.
Set an example by supporting and respecting your child’s coach. When problems arise, communicate on an individual basis. Public comments are not appropriate.
List 3 things you expect from your players. This will be based on your coaching purpose.
For example:
Commitment: the enthusiastic devotion to individual preparation and team practices.
Relentless execution: all-out effort from start to finish, regardless of score, significance of event.
Self-discipline: the control of emotions, thoughts, focus.
Good sportsmanship: respect for the opponents as your team tries to beat their brains out in competition. Showing up an opponent is unacceptable behavior.
Playing the game right: the application of knowledge and respect of and for the specific sport and the nature of competition.
Responsibility: to academics, to family, school or organization, community, and self.
Courage: aggressive, competitive behaviour – always, particularly in the face of adversity.
Individual sacrifice: for the sake of collective goals.
Concern: for what the uniform represents, for the well-being of others.
Teach Parents What to Ask Their Child After a Game or Practice.
“Did you win” promotes a performance based conversation that is often internalized by a child to mean love comes from a great performance. It is much better to ask “how did you play?” or “how do you feel about your performance?”
Validate their feelings. It’s okay to be upset – it means they care. Anger, frustration, annoyance and fear are common responses to losing. Express empathy and be happy your child is experiencing a little difficulty in their world. They won’t break; they are much stronger than you give them credit for.
Let them cope. The best thing for them is to figure out this new emotion. Trying to force a lesson after a loss is counter-productive and will most likely end in an unnecessary fight.
Teach Parents What to Ask Their Child while driving to and from the rink.
Driving to the rink:
Do you believe in yourself? Add some positive energy into the car right off the bat. The answer should always be YES. Either way, tell your child to say it out loud, “I believe in myself.” Whether they do or not, this practice will steer them in the right direction.
Do you believe you can get better today? Again, whether they say yes or no ask them to say it out loud, I believe I can get better today. It may be awkward at first but it will get easier with practice.
What three things will you work on today that will help you become a better hockey player? This is where you stop talking. I know, it may be as hard for you as it is for your child. But it will get easier. They don’t have to answer you. Tell them to think about the three things, and picture themselves in action.
The Car Ride Home:
What did you do well? Remain silent. Don’t expect an answer. Let them think about it. It’s okay if they don’t want to say it out loud, as long as they’re thinking about it.
What can you improve next time? Again, remain silent, let them think.
Do you have any questions? If they do, this is your time to talk, but only about the question. Unsolicited advice sucks. Avoid it.
That’s it. It may be awkward and quiet the first few times but it allows your child to think and reflect on what they did, without being bombarded with your thoughts and advice and pressure. Self reflection allows them to figure things out on their own. Just let them know you’re always there to answer their questions without judgement or criticism.
“Culture is what we believe, how we behave and the experiences that our behavior produces”
Choose a clear path to developing a winner’s mindset.
Based on your solid foundation and clear expectations create habits and routines that will help your athletes develop a winner’s mindset.
Clear direction and expectations
Effective decision-making
Show up to compete instead of to win
Players build it, players own it
Each player has a purpose, a role on the team. Ensure they understand not only what they’re doing but why they’re doing it. Involve them in your decision making. Ask questions; let them be heard. Hold them accountable for their actions.
E + R = O
An Event + Your Response = An Outcome
You don’t control what happens to you or around you. (event)
you don’t control the result or the future. (outcome)
But you always have control of choosing your attitude and your approach in every situation. (response)
Things that you cannot control:
What other people think about you
The scoreboard and the statsheet
Referees and opponents
The past and the future
Things that you can control:
Your attitude and your approach
Your Thoughts, feelings, and actions
Your effort and your energy
Your choices and your decisions
Your success depends on how you choose to respond to the events.
If you want a better Outcome, then choose a better Response.
Commitment means that you agree to dedicate your time and effort to the process.
It means you are willing to take action, do whatever is necessary, and give up anything that doesn’t help you become the best version of yourself.
Commitment requires a belief in yourself and in your ability to achieve your goals.
To believe in yourself, first stop believing what others believe about you. Otherwise, you will end up being what others believe about you.
With a growth mindset you can control the controllables and make decisions that keep you focused on becoming the best version of yourself.
A Fixed Mindset is the belief that skills, intellect, and talent are set and cannot be changed or learned.
A Growth Mindset is the belief that skills, intellect, and talent can be developed through practice and perseverance.
Examples:
Fixed Mindset: I’m either good at it or I’m not.
Growth Mindset: I can learn to do anything I choose.
Fixed Mindset: I only stick to what I know.
Growth Mindset: I don’t mind trying new things.
Fixed Mindset: If I don’t try, then I won’t fail.
Growth Mindset: I only fail when I stop trying.
Fixed Mindset: When I’m frustrated, I give up.
Growth Mindset: When I’m frustrated, I keep going.
Fixed Mindset: I’m jealous of other people’s success.
Growth Mindset: I am inspired by other people’s success.
Fixed Mindset: Feedback and criticism make me defensive.
Growth Mindset: Feedback and criticism help me grow as a person.
When you show up to compete every day, the winning takes care of itself.
Showing up to win:
Focused on outcomes;
Focused on uncontrollables (officials, weather, opponents);
Tight, tentative, and tense;
Lacking confidence because so many things are out of control.
Showing up to compete:
Focused on the process and all the little things it takes to get better;
In control of the controllables and responding appropriately to everything as it happens;
Calm and relaxed;
Playing with increased confidence.
Always show up to compete. Always focus on the team’s compete level.
Thanks for putting in the time and effort to help our athletes become awesome teammates and better humans.
“Our success is a result of what we do”