Category Archives: Unreal News

Employees at the sloth sanctuary in Costa Rica are worried the rising popularity of sloths will lead them to extinction. The number of visitors to the sanctuary has increased ten fold since sloth videos went viral. The sudden fame is … Continue reading →

A hockey goalie from Mount Forest High School has been cut from the team after winning a dodgeball tournament on the weekend. Coaches fear that Brian Murray may forget what sport he’s playing and dodge the puck instead of stopping … Continue reading →

Princess Peach Leaving Testosterone-Filled Mushroom Kingdom When the next Super Mario Bros. game comes out the gang will be brawling without one of it’s oldest characters. Princess Peach is leaving the Mushroom Kingdom amid signs of chaos and destruction. “The … Continue reading →

“Peyton is much better at acting than at throwing a football.” Said Michaels, “I want him to retire from the game and focus on becoming the actor he’s always wanted to be.”

Scarlett Johansson has called the FBI on the pervert who snapped photos of her naked. The actress is disgusted with whoever had the nerve to invade her privacy and take such intimate pictures. “You hear about other celebs who have … Continue reading →

NFL players are breathing a sigh of relief after being given iPads to replace their clunky playbooks. Not only will they not have to carry around a 300 page manual, they can now study in public without feeling like nerds. … Continue reading →

“Daddy should know that I have 35 dolls,” cried Stacey, “and they refuse to share rooms! So he needs to buy me a bigger dollhouse.”

“I’m suppose to be manly and tough,” said the logo, “but I can’t intimidate the opposition with a cute fluffy ball on my head.”

Making it to the big leagues is every baseball players dream. Hitting a granny in your rookie season is just as amazing. As long as the granny is what the pros call a grand slam. Unfortunately, Matt Grander took the meaning … Continue reading →

When Super Mario and his brother Luigi finished inspecting the plumbing at Mellon Arena, home of the Pittsburgh Penguins, they immediately told Penguins owner, Mario Lemieux to pack up and leave. “Oh paisanos! I would not feel safe playing on … Continue reading →