dodgeball satire

High School Hockey Goalie Gets Cut from Team After Winning Dodgeball Tournament

“I watched the dodgeball tournament and saw instances where Brian wanted to get in front of the ball instead of dodging it.” said the hockey coach. “I don’t want him to have a brain fart on the ice and let in a game-winning goal in the championship game next week.”

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Fame Distracting Sloths from Making Babies

“It seems like male sloths would rather pose for cameras than mate. They’ve even started grooming themselves, which leaves them extremely vulnerable to predators.”

princess peach

Princess Peach Leaving Testosterone-Filled Mushroom Kingdom

“The Kingdom is not the way it used to be 26 years ago when I would chill in Koopa’s castle waiting for Mario and Luigi to save me.”

dollhouse satire

Million Dollar Dollhouse too Small for Spoiled 8 Year Old

“Daddy should know that I have 35 dolls,” cried Stacey, “and they refuse to share rooms! So he needs to buy me a bigger dollhouse.”

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Logo Demands Removal of Silly Fluff Ball from His Toque

A local Minor Hockey Association has had to deal with an enraged logo that is asking for a better toque. “I’m suppose to be manly and tough,” said the logo, “but I can’t intimidate the opposition with a cute fluffy ball on my head.”

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Rookie Shortstop Arrested for Hitting Granny

Making it to the big leagues is every baseball players dream. Hitting a granny in your rookie season is just as amazing. As long as the granny is what the pros call a grand slam. Unfortunately, Matt Grander took the meaning literally and is now charged with hitting someone’s grandma at the game. “I wasn’t sure… Read more »

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Hefty Smurf Breaks Weightlifting Record. Accused of Using Performance Enhancing Drugs

Almost any adult can lift 54 lbs with one hand; however, for a Smurf, lifting that amount is impossible. At least it used to be until Hefty Smurf broke the record after bench pressing 55 lbs on his second attempt. This unimaginable feat got the attention of the World Anti-Doping Agency President, John Fahey who… Read more »